Last year, I introduced this member of our team with one
line “I am from Holland, isn’t that weird!” There are rumours going around that
he was sent to school in Canada by his family because he eats too much food and
it is too expensive. He was once known to have been referred to by one of our
coaches as an ‘Abercrombie model’; I know what you’re thinking; yes this coach
was a guy. The coach was also a German, and not Volker. This is starting to
lead me to the conclusion that perhaps the Germans have a more liberal point of
view on sexuality and nudity and what counts as appropriate or not appropriate
comments to make. I am referencing one Volker Nolte at this point – he has been
known to say things like “if you drop something, you must get on your knew and
take it”. I’ve kind of strayed away from describing our Dutch athlete, so let’s
go back to that. He’s a big guy and he has sometimes been known for late night
McDonalds runs, and by sometimes, I mean all the time. His hobbies include, bar
starring, lifting weights, speaking in Dutch, erging, lifting more weights, and
stuff like that. He recently spend an evening serving ice cream at Marble Slab,
not so funny, but an interesting fact. Some say that he was recently found
trying to sell concrete chips as pieces of meteorite for very high prices, and
that he recently received 12 000 concert tickets, all for the same Beyonce
concert. All we know is, it’s Jerome VanLeeuwen.
In an effort to increase our female readership, here’s a
picture of Jerome shirtless in a field. After all it has been said by the ladies: “it’s impossible to take a bad
picture of Jerome, he has Barney Stinson syndrome”.
